Making the Most of Failure

I haven’t written for a loooooong time …I know – but today I was inspired by this simple truth. Hope it touches you too.

In Focus

Making the Most of Failure

What we think about God is the single most important thing in the world. How we perceive Him will dictate how we live our life. How we see ourselves in relation to Him will orchestrate all that we are and do in this world.

We live in a success-driven world. So, in particular, seeing any failure in relation to the heart of God is absolutely vital. God is love and the nature of that love must be the driving force behind everything that we do or attempt.

God is not human. He is the sum of everything. He is not just the Creator of the world. He is the Creator of all things, including love. He does all things well, including love. His standard for everything is excellence. The benchmark for success in the Kingdom of God is so high no one can reach it without His input. And yet…

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Lesson 48: ME

I am coming to terms with who I am.

uniquely me

As I write this I know I am putting it all out there which is something I tend to veer away from. I share but not enough to let everyone in – because I don’t want too much information to be given, enough to make those who read have any more than just the tiniest sliver of the me that I like to keep for just me…safe

You know…safe…hidden…just my thoughts that no-one else can hear

Today, however I don’t feel like hiding from this piece of writing…I feel today for some reason it needs to be written – I know I am not alone in these thought crevices so here it goes and please …I want no response for my thoughts only of your own experience in this place if you choose…

I have never enjoyed the printed image of me

I judge it from a place of criticism and disappointment

I see these images from a place of the criticism of others and so I recoil from most images that house me within them. There are the odd moments when I feel I can allow an image which has somehow made me look more okay…I can endure it…most I simply delete

I am generally dissatisfied with most parts of me

Don’t get me wrong I don’t hate myself or even feel that under confident but I don’t exactly think that much of what I have in terms of attributes, characteristics, skills or talent

I have always felt someone else has more and that what I have is less than average on many levels

I realise sitting here today that this is so very sad

I have been sad

I must make my Creator, Abba Father deeply sad

It needs to end

I need to love who I am

This is the only me I get

I want to wholly embrace who He made me to be

The nose that I had wished to be smaller and more petit is the nose He chose for me.

Perhaps it has kept me a little more humble and it is a good nose regardless of its form.

The little and not so little bulges around my middle – they are there – He didn’t put them there…I take full credit for that but I will love the fluff. It is part of who I am right now.

My knock knees, my curly toes, my thin lips, my less than dainty hands, my thin hair, short eye-lashes, scars, stretch marks (I give my two beautiful children credit for those) and a few rather more unmentionable areas…

I thank my ADONAI Elohim for those He chose for me and those He knew would happen over time.

I am Michelle

This is what I look like

This is how I sound

This is how I write

These are my thoughts

These are my flaws

I embrace all that is me

I must

If you want to you can – if you don’t that is entirely your decision

It won’t change who I am

I don’t want to change them

Not anymore

I want to be this person

Fully be who I was designed to be

I want to love this body

Regard it with respect and treat it as such

I want to love and laugh about the things that make me uniquely me

His design is without error – His plan created before the beginning of time

I want to sing because I can

And it makes me happy

Dance because I want to and I can

Not because I am that good at it anymore

Write because I love to

And let’s face it – it does keep me out of trouble…


This life needs to be lived loving who we are and who we will be if we can do that.

Starting now…

Lesson 47: The story of a man

You know you are growing when you are no longer ignoring your weaknesses and faults.

I have been looking very closely at my heart in the last few weeks. It’s been placed under a microscope having taken off those rose coloured spectacles when examining the state of my own, fleshly heart.

I have to tell you…I have not enjoyed all that I have seen. It is far less righteous than I once thought it to be. It is quite messy actually. There is a whole host of things I would so like to ignore but if I am to be fully real and more so, transparent with myself, I am going to have to face the reality of the full range of my shortcomings.

There once was who found himself in a tough situation. He had faithfully followed a teacher who he had believed in without question for three years. This teacher told him one day that he would one day question his devotion to him and run from it. But this man could not agree with his teacher – in fact – he vehemently disagreed.

The time came as the teacher had said it would and he did exactly as it was foretold. His teacher was held in accusation by the authorities, his reputation in shreds and they labelled him with all manner of lies and abhorrent crimes.

But what of the faithful follower?

Now would be the test.

Now would be the time to show his teacher wrong but instead he turned his face from his teacher and pretended he has never met the man.

Not just once but three times over he denied not just ever knowing him but he denied that he has never seen this man before with great purpose.

The third time he did this, he heard in the quite, misty distance, a cock crowing three times.

His teacher was right…

He had turned his back on him

Denied him

Forsaken him

Three times he chose this action

Who was this man?

This mans’ name was Simon Peter (Kefa)

The teacher’s name was Yeshua

After this he watched his teacher tortured and ridiculed. He watched whom he knew to be an innocent man, crucified.

He must have wept. Not just with sorrow at what had been done to his teacher, his friend. He must have wept with the deepest, most heart wrenching guilt and regret.

What he had done was almost – if not the same – as Judas’s actions of betrayal of Yeshua.

How could Peter every overcome this place he was in. The shame that covered him must have been overwhelming. He might have received sad, sorrowful glances from the other followers and onlookers.

How could he do this to his beloved teacher?

What a pitiful picture of a man….

The day came when Yeshua, Peter’s teacher, defied death and arose from His tomb. He joined his followers and was eating a meal with them when He looked at Peter and asked him if he loved Him. To which Peter “Yes, lord, you know I am your friend. Yeshua replied, “ Feed my lambs.”

Again Yeshua asked him if he loved Him. And Peter responded, “Yes, lord, you know I am your friend.” And Yeshua responded, “Shepherd my sheep.”

A third time Yeshua asked Peter if he was His friend. And Peter replied, “Lord, you know everything. You know I am your friend!” And Yeshua responded, “Feed my sheep.”

Three times Peter denied Yeshua and three times he was restored by the very man he denied. This to me is one of the purest examples of forgiveness. This is how I believe we are to forgive. Forgive into a place of complete restoration.

Peter was forgiven and completely restored and then commanded to take care of those who would believe and did believe in Yeshua HaMashiach (anointed One).

This Peter went on to bring 3000 people to salvation and not once do we ever read of the other disciples reminding him of his grievous sin of denial. He was completely restored in their eyes too.

Do we forgive this way?

Do we allow for others to fully walk in forgiveness and restoration?

Or do we continue to remind them of their past sins and failures, never allowing them the joy of knowing redemption, grace and wholeness because we are still hurting or offended by their past actions.

If anyone had reason to walk away and never meet with a man again, let alone have a meal with him, Yeshua did.

Yeshua, models true forgiveness and the walking of restoration for those whose hearts are fully turned to Him.

I want to forgive like this.

Yeshua did so I should.

Who am I to withhold forgiveness and deny restoration?

And I need to be forgiven and restored like this too.

It comes down to….


The choice to forgive

The choice to make a way for restoration

This world needs a change of heart

I choose to start HERE

I choose to start NOW

la grâce