Lesson 40: In all things there is a season

seed sewingToday a season came to an end. A beautiful season in my life that allowed me to grow, develop and become a more confident woman. I cried when I drove away as three remarkable women from a team I was proud to be part of, waved me goodbye.

I cried because I was overwhelmed by their love and sincerity, their authentic care, friendship and grace and I cried because despite loving this team and the company I have worked with for 8 years, I felt released. I cried because I was amazed at how Father God had actually heard me and had answered my prayers after 16 years of praying…and I cried because He, as usual understands what is best for me better than I ever could.

When my son was born I had the idealistic outlook most young mothers have – to stay at home and love my baby. The reality was that it was just not an option for us. At times I was heartbroken about it and work, as much as I loved it, frustrated me. I wanted to be at home. And so year after year I hoped for release and prayed for it, earnestly. It eluded me – not only did I continue to work but I was offered a new position in Cape Town for more money and many new experiences – so great when building a CV but it was never what I wanted despite being reasonably adept at it.

I clearly remember sitting in my sister in-laws lounge chatting to her about work and my original dream when I had an epiphany. If I had been given the opportunity to stay at home with my children and if I had not taught and then moved on to work in the corporate arena…I would never have become who I am today.

I know I would not have been exposed to the challenges that have pushed me into expanding my thinking and reframing my outlook on life. I would never have explored my unearthed talents that surprised even me at times and I certainly believe I would have remained very sheltered, boxed in and limited by what I thought would be the best for me…my picket fence life.

2014-03-28 14.01.39So here I sit today, on a Boeing 737, on my way home to Cape Town. I have completed my handover and deleted my files. I have said my goodbyes and handed in my access card. I am officially unemployed and ready to start the next season. I do believe it is my spring after a very long winter.

When I checked in my luggage at the airport I was soaring. In my mind I saw an eagle being carried by the wind, wings outstretched and eyes fixed ahead. Just soaring – completely supported by the wind beneath its wings.

I know you can’t stay up there for ever but for this time, this moment, this is where I am. And literally a couple of thousand feet above the ground as I write this I am enjoying every moment – this is what makes life worth living – as clichéd as that may sound. But we need these moments – we need to soar from time to time – we need to have these incredible highs, because when we do land back on earth, it is these very moments that keep us going and inspire us to soar again.

When I do land – literally and figuratively – I will be moving into a new space, a new time and most definitely have a new set of challenges facing me. One of them being, home schooling my 16-year-old son. And for most people when I tell them that – their expressions are priceless and this is the beauty of life…

My vision for my life had been to stay at home with my children when they were young.

God clearly had other plans.

Here I am with two teenage kids and after all these years of toiling the ground, Father God is now giving me this time.

In the years when you think your children will separate themselves from you and move into their own spaces, now is the time He is giving me to build into their lives. Being part of Joshua’s everyday life like this for the next 3 years is a gift I had never expected. Being able to sit with Paityn when she gets back from school without being distracted by my deadlines and emails is going to be the most priceless treasure I could ever have hoped for.

How clever is our God!

He knew – He knew this way would be better. He knew I needed to grow, that I was not where He wanted me to be at the time, in order to do that which He needed me to do.

He needed me to think differently and grow as a person – enlarge those borders of my limited, institutionalised mind and make some discoveries that would change my course for the better – and hopefully that of my children’s.

What a day – what an end to a great season.

There is not one moment I regret – because every moment formed part of me becoming a better human being and every moment that lies ahead of me will continue to grow me in different ways. After all you can’t grow the same crop every season. Maybe this is the season for wheat – or better yet sunflowers – whatever the crop I am only seeing possibility.

Coming through this last season has shown me to face the fears and the rigidity of my own assumptions and to push against the imagined fences in my life and to try new things – not to be afraid of the unknown and then…that if you wait, if you are patient, it comes…the harvest comes. The seeds grow, the harvest shines and the new season beckons.

This is where I sign off today – a happy soul with a new adventure and a horizon of possibility.

Soaring out,
Yours in French and the lessons that it brings….
Mich

PS: And the other added benefit will be more time to write and read those brilliant blogs I too follow…

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19 comments

  1. Well the first thing I was going to ask you was:
    ‘So does this mean you will be around more!!??’ 😀 😀
    Just kidding! (though not)

    What a beautiful beautiful post Michelle dearest. What a pleasure it was reading this and what joy you have given me in your moment of soaring!
    My joy for you at this wonderful opportunity and the joy I hear in your words, but also reminding me as I am in a season of ploughing again – just exactly what that moment/s feels like when you JUST KNOW – and that knowledge lifts you high above as you see the whole scenic view below you of how everything fits so perfectly together.
    THOSE moments – are what make life worth living and are a drug for which I would give my last breathe. That revelation in understanding and knowing that our faith even when we could not see would bring us to the place where we would, even for a short moment, be given a view from up high where Father looks from 😉

    Love you chicken ❤

    YOU are going to have such a blast with your babies. ALL what you say here is so wonderful.

    1. Thank you my friend! It is a spectacular moment and so joyously liberating to know on Monday morning I don’t have 50 emails to respond to or reports to submit or assessments to review! I am amazed at how it all works out – and it is just as Father says – He works all things to the good of those who love Him. And time is certainly not a factor for God…just us 😉

      Yes, I will be around much more!!! Hallelujah and my um…”babies” and I are going to feel the love.

      Thank you for your awesome support… ❤

      1. They will ALWAYS be your babies. 😉
        And lets be fair here – even if we go by age – they are most certainly still babies and I am so happy that they will have their mommy (who is a super awesome nerdy dancing mommy) to hold them tight as they prepare to take flight.

        It’s kinda hard to hold their hands without tying them back to the umbilical chord. AND I am going to say this – even more so with a young man.

        Let the new chapters of lessons begin my friend!! LOL!

        I think you may have just landed in France.

      2. Hehe – so true Bean and I agree with all you have said…even with France … so true, so true!

        Yes, this nerdy dancing mommy is going to embrace her babies ineedio!

        ❤ Thank you for being there for me…

  2. Wow! Awesome post Mich! I am so happy for you that your life is coming together in a way that leads to fulfillment (contentment). Another step on the jouney. And I’m pleased you’re back on your blog. I missed you and was afraid you may have hung it up. Your faith and positive attitude are a blessing and an inspiration for us all. Thank you. When I read “This is where I sign off today…” my heart stopped because I thought you were finished with us. The when I read on “And the other added benefit will be more time to write and read those brilliant blogs…” I was relieved. More Lessons in French to come! I know I’m being selfish – you will get to spend much more time with your children and family now. But I do so enjoy your writing. Take care and I look forward to reading more on your blog.

    1. Thank you Paul – hehe 🙂 so sorry I have been AWOL fr a while, it has been insane getting all the work completed but I could never sign off from WordPress – it is my one little passion that I cannot give up. I am so blessed that you love my writing Paul – thank you for your support and encouragement.

      So yes, another step on this journey. I have to say that it is so rewarding to see prayers answered after so many years but in that to also understand why they were only answered now.

      Be blessed and we will chat soon. 😀

  3. Oh, Michelle, I’m filled with joy for you and for all the new opportunities this new time in your life will bring. We never know what our seasons bring us until we have a chance to look back on them. Perhaps in this new one, you will even try those baked Brussels sprouts! 😀

    Prayers, love and good thoughts traveling your way.

    1. Thank you, thank you Susan. Yes, (lol) I will be trying those brussel sprout out very soon – I have to and now I will have no excuses! 😀

  4. Oh Mich, what a beautiful, expressive and heartfelt post full of soaring hopes and dreams, but also your understanding of all you have accomplished along the way even when life didn’t turn out as you had planned. Time and time again in my own life I’ve known this to be true and that no experience is ever wasted.

    With my three children now adults (31, 25 and 21) I know, without a doubt, that this time you will be investing in your teenage children’s’ lives is crucial. I’ve found that so many parents seem to think that once their children become teenagers they no longer need us but this is not true. They actually need us more!

    I am so excited for you and this new beginning. Your understandable sadness and bittersweet thoughts at saying goodbye to your friends, your job, your way of life for the past 8 years, mixed together with the utter freedom and excitement at the future awaiting you and your family is palpable. I’m so happy for you dear friend and I want to give you a great big hug and say, “Well done! Now you can get on with the next part of your journey!”.

    Have a beautiful weekend – Sherri 🙂 xx

    1. Ah Sherri – your words are a sweet encouragement to me. It is so true – our teenagers need us so much -right now is when they feel more vulnerable than ever and I am so blessed that they express their need for my husband and I in their lives. What a blessing and it makes me feel like we have done something right by them wanting us around too.

      You got my post so well – I am more than excited for my next season – I feel like I did when I found out I was pregnant for the first time…well with a different expectation this time (lol) but it resonates with my spirit and I know it is so right.

      Thank you for your hug – I felt it across the ocean – it means so much to me to have your support and pom poms waving in the background, cheering me on!

      Be blessed indeed xoxo

  5. Really liked your post! 🙂 I have always believed that there is always a right time for everything, (for every season to come and go) – and as you mentioned God knows it the best for that to happen!

    1. Thank you Mahuri, I so agree. If only we could always rest in that and not get worked up and anxious hey. If we just leaned back and stayed rooted in His peace. He has the best for us and I believe the best is yet to come, if we can all just be patient, love Him and lean into Him.

      Thank you so much for reading and connecting with me –

      Lots of blessings xx

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