If you had to gauge your words on a daily basis from 1 – 10 – with 10 being incredibly positive and victorious to 1 being completely negative and self-destructive – what would your score be?
All of us hope for the best, we dream of what could be possible and we imagine a better life while at the same time we speak about our defeats as though they will always be with us and we nurture our failures as an accepted part of our lives. What if I told you that those very words are part of the problem. You know the saying as man speaks so is he… well it is so incredibly true. We are only as successful as our words allow us to be. This works hand in hand with our head – whatever we think, is what will be exiting our mouths.
I have been training myself over the last couple of years to avoid as far as humanly possible speaking negativity over my life and the life of my family. It wasn’t easy in the beginning but over the years it has become part of my life, to refrain from indulging in speaking failure and heartache over my life. In the last 3 years of waiting I have become even more aware of what I say – I may be aware of this but I have to tell you that I don’t always get it right and when I don’t it is like having a hot burning bullet on my tongue – as soon as it leaves my mouth I regret it. That bullet has left the building and hurtled out to do it’s damage and I am the one who pulled the proverbial trigger. I have the potential to be a walking weapon of mass destruction when I am not thinking – just my words alone have the ability to wreak carnage on mine and my family’s futures.
Every time someone used to tell me I was looking good I used to say “No, surely you’re not wearing your glasses today.” In conversation about cash flow and I would more often than not say I was broke, that there was more month than money, that I was not sure if I would ever be able to afford item a or b, or “Are would we ever get out of the place were in, everyone else was blessed except us, we were doomed to be average, it happened for other people but never to us…”.
Does any of this sound too familiar to you? If it is perhaps it’s time to do a bit of a language course and literally relearn how you speak and even more effectively how you think. It is like learning French, ‘oui’? It will take you to an entirely new grammar page, a new vernacular, and at first foreign but soon victorious declaration of life and possibility of your future and present state.
We are the sum of our thoughts and words. From our thinking and our words comes our behaviour. There is a somewhat well-known belief model that we often use in our training – simply called, wait for it, the belief model.
A person has a certain belief, let’s say he believes he has no time to get his work done– that belief impacts how he behaves in the relevant situations, he is always stressed and frantic and ends up making many mistakes in his work and missing deadlines – this behaviour impacts directly on his relationships both towards his work and the people around him – his boss is always asking what the progress on his workload is and how he is coping, is constantly checking his work and finding errors that he sends back for correction. This results in additional pressure to meet deadlines and so said worker is always working late and due to his stress levels he continually has to go back and correct simple errors – this further reinforces his beliefs –that he has no time and so the cycle begins again.
I am sure you can stop right now and recognise some beliefs you have that have resulted in this cycle – maybe it’s about you finances, your health, your weight or your relationships – if your beliefs start with defeat you really are setting yourself up for failure right from the onset. No matter what you want fixed in your life – and especially if it is relationships, you have to start with yourself and what you believe.
When Rob and I were going through a very difficult time in our marriage – I was doing everything I could to rectify it, or so I thought. Nothing seemed to be working and we were heading for dangerous territory and I was so fearful of the looming result ahead of my ‘fairy tale’. I was given a book called the Power of a praying wife by Stormie Omartian and the very first prayer in that book was about changing my attitude towards my husband. I was so indignant about that – I was of the opinion that it wasn’t me that needed to change but my husband, how could the first prayer be about me!? It was then that I realised that I had to take responsibility for my part in this process and I had to make the shift if I wanted my relationship to change, I had to choose peace and grace and give grace if I wanted to receive it. The rest is history – well there are a number of stories still to be told but we have now been married for 17 years this March and I know it is because I made the choice to change – to renew my thinking.
If your life is not going the way you need it to or you just can’t understand why things keep going wrong or you are remaining in an average state of being – I really want to encourage you to analyse your words and your thoughts.
How victorious is your thinking or is it somewhat of a stinking thinking going on, because if your thoughts stink I can guarantee you, your words will follow.
Ask yourself the following questions:
What are my strongest beliefs right now about who I am?
How does this impact my behaviour and my actions?
What do I need to do today to start shifting what I believe into something positive?
Start thinking differently today and soon your words will follow – when you words and thoughts are in line with what is good and victorious you will be behaving differently too. Be disciplined, you are going to need quite a bit of practice – when you get it wrong don’t fall back into it, just restate what you have said in the positive. Soon your speech will take on a new flair and your actions will start to follow.
Then your dreams will start to look so much more possible and what looks possible will begin to grow your faith and when your faith grows, there is no stopping the dream.
Be blessed and speak with victory, it is your time…