When you are little you always feel like you are waiting for something more – you can’t wait for the next birthday and you are always your age plus the half. Your thoughts are occupied with, “when I get big” and “one day when I move out”. Our lives are filled with waiting for the next big moment. Once we get to the big moment we have been waiting for, we start being expectant for the next.
Robin and I have been waiting a lot – oh boy, I feel like the wound up contestant in “Who wants to be a millionaire” waiting for Chris Tarrant to tell you whether you have just bagged the ₤50 000 or lost ₤49 000. Waiting almost feels like normality to me now and there have been so many moments when I have really been ready to pack it in. I mean, how long is a piece of string?
When you spend so much time waiting, you spend a lot of time reflecting as well. You see your life in reverse and consider the things that could have been and maybe should have been. So apart from waiting you also spend an enormous amount of time reflecting and sometimes to your detriment but other times it does have value. I have been reflecting on the last few months of our life spent in intense waiting, almost ‘holding our breath waiting’ and I realised a few things this week. When in waiting it is pointless to be idle.
Waiting always goes hand in hand with faith. Believing for something to happen, means you have to wait FOR it to happen. Whilst you are waiting and believing you then need to start putting things into action. For example, we are waiting for things to fall into place for our move to France, Robin is putting together all the documents he will require for the business to be registered, his licenses, his articles of association, his permits, the schedules etcetera, etcetera, our passports are new and ready to be stamped (please Jesus …) and we are learning French, albeit slowly, but we are.
In waiting, you start preparing. Joel Osteen sent an inspirational newsletter out this week and I am going to loosely quote what he wrote because it is exactly where we are at right now:
“When you invite someone to dinner, you don’t wait until they arrive to start preparation or to buy the ingredients you need. No, you start preparations long before the dinner appointment. You will prepare the food and set the table, maybe you will even dust the house, tell the kids to wash up and kick their toys under the bed so that the house in a decent condition for the guests.”
Now just in the same way when we are waiting for the dream birthed within our hearts, we need to prepare whilst waiting. So that when the moment arrives, we are completely prepared and ready to take the first step. Waiting does not need to be a waste of time – I don’t believe that is why we are put into a time of waiting. There is such purpose in it – we grow, we learn and we gain so much more understanding, but that in itself is completely up to us.
We can choose to be focused on what counts or we can fall into complete frustration. The line between the two is so fine – I constantly find myself pulled between the two and very often with both feet on either side of the line. In order to stay sane I have to choose to stay on the right side of the line and stretch this faith beyond my human thinking. It is exhausting sometimes and other times it’s as easy as eating ice cream. Ultimately there is nothing I can physically do about the waiting – I just want to make this time count…
Here’s to the preparation and the ’dinner’ to come…
© Michelle Moller