It has been a particularly rough week. Not like anything I have ever experience before and I have really struggled to write. Last night I wrote almost 3 pages and looked at it and thought – no – this is not being published. It was disjointed and a mish-mash of thoughts trying to form logical order but finding none. It had no energy or life in it and I kept reading it and shifting it – rewriting here, putting a comma there and then I just decided that not everything I write is going to be worth posting – sometimes it will just be a means to express my whirlwind thinking. So up until 3 minutes ago I had nothing to write, no lesson to share and no brilliant ideas to type up. Then I found this quote – which stirred my spirit and my mind and my fingers into sharing:
“Let us cry for the spilled milk, by all means, if by doing so we learn how to avoid spilling any more. Let us cry for the spilled milk, and remember how, and where, and why, we spilled it.
Much wisdom is learned through tears, but none by forgetting our lessons.”
Throughout our lives we are told you can’t cry over spilled milk, once it is spilled there is nothing you can do with it. You have to wipe it up, throw the rag into the back of the deep, dark kitchen cupboard and ‘move on’. How wrong could that cliché have been. We have to cry and feel – we have to learn and we have to learn how not to spill it again – that is entirely what our life is about – learning the lessons – growing from them and becoming a greater, wiser human being through the spilling of the proverbial milk. Without the spilling AND the crying there will be no learning – if we don’t think and feel when we make these mistakes or find ourselves in circumstances that feel so much bigger than us, how can we ever become the one who pours the milk without spilling it?
It is so sad when things happen and we just wipe up the mess and shove the episode to the back of our minds, sometimes ashamed, sometimes embarrassed, disappointed, disillusioned and confused. We choose to pretend it was never there – we choose to forget and keep smiling when in actual fact that rag with all the spilled milk is beginning to become something far more than just a simple wipe up instrument. It is calling for us to face it, look at it, and learn the ‘whys’. Understand the choices made and the causes of the spilling and then and only then can we rinse that rag, fill up on milk and choose a new method for the so-called pouring.
Cry for goodness sake – feel it. Feel the disappointment, feel the frustration, its okay. The trick is not to stay weeping over that puddle of milk for too long. Too many times we think we just need to move on or sometimes we even run away from the issues – the funny thing is until we deal with them they continue to recur. We land right back at the starting point – we will keep spilling that milk until we get a handle on the bottle so to speak.
I have realised that life is big. Sometimes, actually a lot of the time, it feels far bigger than me and I am not always sure how to handle the bigness of it. I do know this that my tears are a meaningful way of me processing my spills and getting to grips with what will help me shift to the next stage in my life. It’s tough though – the wonderful think is that mopping up the spills is not done solo – I know that throughout my spills God has been directing me and comforting me. Right now with what feels like a really big milk puddle I somehow get the feeling that He has already handed me one of those super absorbent mops and that this spill will become a testimony of His grace.
Whatever spills you may be experiencing right now – you are not alone in it – you have the strength to wipe it up. Be okay with it first, cry over it but most importantly, learn your lesson from it.
Lots of love
© Michelle Moller